My silver lining in switching from being a true unicorn (liberal republican) to a democrat is that I learned listen first since once the label of GOP was seen in the past, the worst of the worst was presumed. Then folks got to know me, and were like oh.
If I cross reference what you are describing with a struggling heterosexual relationships (e.g. like the one I have dealt with :) ), there are lots of assumptions being made on the guys part.
One of the things that has been "aggressively raised (both in voice and in tone)", is you are worried more about what you wanting and trying to say and not listening to what I am trying to say.
etc.
Everyone should have equal access, and it should not matter how one looks, who they share intimacy with, what gender they are, or whatever critical label is assumed (political e.g.) Their actions should matter first and foremost, and an appreciation of the hill they have gone up to get to that point should be acknowledged. For someone that is on top of the hill it will be less about what I as a guy accomplish and more of who I help and assist up to my level.
We all have our different things we need to achieve to "level" up in society. E.g. I am saddened, disgusted, and perturbed by the state law in Texas that was passed. It lacks so very much of what Texas is and should be, but others grasp straws into the past believing the wrong things.
If equality can be had and made in my life time, then folks can look (and in some ways some feminists and others are) the "man box" hells that men reside in. But the kicker on this is, they are here for support as it is up to men to pull themselves up by their bootstraps and ask for help in a civil manner.
But before that happens, the women and others that want to help should not have to worry about a fist coming up or knife in the back, which is what they have to worry about every damn day.
AS for the problems that haunt women and BIPOC, I am here to listen and am available if requested and asked. While that happens, I work on educating myself and building up my personal reserves so I can help when asked. It is what being an ally is, and not what Elle is talking too. (IMO)
