Alan Tegel
2 min readJul 6, 2020

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My view is because the husband is subservient to the leader of the wife. Since it has been personalized to the name of an individual female it can not be bridged over in the same way to a male. To do so requires defining a generalized reference to the actions of the gender of the person so it can be translated in kind to the opposite gender’s action. On another tact, I believe the uproar is because she is supporting toxic masculinity and the patriarchy in it’s worst forms.

Toxic Femininity should be called out and if one wishes to call out Toxic Masculinity they can do so at the same time, but to use a cheap individual meme based name …. it shouldn’t and this is where things go horribly wrong.

One of the beefs I had with people pounding out the use of Toxic Masculinity is it was poorly constructed psych term that by its terseness branded by default to the uneducated that all masculinity was toxic. So my preference to those that never dealt with it with education and/or a psychologist was the fact that the term should have been toxic culture of masculinity.

So by focusing the rage on the man over the woman in this instance and diluting the true horror deflects from the woman’s actions and gives her a free pass and empowers her to do the same.

Think of this aspect … women like this empower boys to not embrace feminism and create more men very toxic to women. It is akin to a woman slut shaming or blaming a woman’s sexuality when they are assaulted. In my book that is a double evil.

So IMO … if someone does and says evil they should be called out in full force for their actions and not given a free pass.

If we desire to get men to understand and sign up and fight against toxic masculinity but ignore the toxic femininity equivalent it becomes near impossible to do so because those that deflect or become defensive can point to the action of well it was a female that did it so it is ok … so I am ok.

This IMO is where a zero tolerance view should be acceptable in an equality based world.

As I have shared my story in the past … strict traditional upbringing took decades and a hard set of years to unwind. I still have to fight this to this day even in my current relationships.

Point example …. Watching “Kill the Irishmen” … my partner made the comment about a woman coming out to meet Danny Green for sex in nothing but an open shirt as a whore. I responded, there is nothing wrong with a woman who desires and wants sex with another person. That is not being a whore but being human.

5–6 years ago prior to my work … I might have believed based upon the teachings of women that were traditional that yeah … she was one of those people …. now … fuck no … she is a valuable human being.

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Alan Tegel
Alan Tegel

Written by Alan Tegel

Lover of people, Texas Feminist Liberal Democrat, Horse Farm, High Tech Gadget ENFP Guy, and someone who appreciates the struggle of women and wants to help.

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