My view of folks that call themselves sapiosexual is based upon the fact that intelligence and their ability to converse and stimulate the mind on the non-physical layer arouses them. Some folks use pain and others need leather shoes, or latex, but those are objects or attributes in a person.
The way I see and interpret it is based on the fact a person that has a more fluid sexuality (i.e. pansexual) has a different set of things that excite them.
Is everyone this way? No. Do people misdiagnosis having high standards for sexual intimacy (definitely).
Does that mean there isn’t a place for the demisexual and sapiosexual? (Human sexuality and arousal is very very wide ranging).
So I would say I believe people probably mis quote and misstep their diagnosis of this situation. E.g. a person that truly is turned on by intellect should have no issue getting into bed with any gender. If you are say a CIS male heterosexual only, and you say you are a sapiosexual, but could not say get excited by Joe’s writing … then guess what you probably aren’t. You may have standards for the women you desire to be with.
Demisexuality I believe is born from an area where trauma and trust has a very huge requirement. Folks that have been abused or traumatized will require a true connection before going there. They should also scale (if you believe in thoe things) higher on the introvert side.
But your belief and view is cool and I see no issue with this being raised as it calls out and starts a conversation in a way that elevates people to help define a warmer and more whole sexuality.
Love your writing …. take care