My view on her view is there has been so many bad actors to women, they actually interject with women who are not interested or not asking.

It is a reading the room type of view, where women have had to be conditioned to play nice and coy so they don't get physically hurt. Do note, I am not implying it is what you do since I don't know you, but I have seen it happen with women in bars quite a bit over my time.

If a person is listening to tunes, reading a book, newspaper, or what not, they probably don't want interrupted.

If you have access to a gay bar and you want to get a feel for what it is like, go there and order drinks or a meal by yourself and replicate the situation.

You might be surprised how offf putting it can be.

When I have been in bars and there were single business women who sat down, I would ask, would you care for a discussion and hi my name is Alan. If not that is ok, I am open just ask.

I do believe she understands the ramifications of what she says, she has had to live the life, where guys like us can take it granted in a way to be "invisible" to folks.

A one-off ask is not harrassment but asking after a negative response or from a physical notification she heard you walks into that path. Quite a few a guys if not intentialy oafishly go hard over that line.