Nice read. You will find men don’t conform to just the view that you are seeing. Some might say the higher quality men you are looking for aren’t on the things you are connecting with. Not all of us prefer or like the views of Tinder and other things because well that is a target Zone for transactional sex.
There is nothing wrong with that, but do understand by jumping into that fray one is agreeing to a view that sex is it and maybe FWB. If this is not what you are desiring you should follow my rules of thumb.
Be Clear .. Be Concise .. Be Direct.
Also realize that by raising the standards and expectations bar to include feminism certification for guys one can’t have it all. For example, if one wants the looks and sex performance, one might have to give up loyalty and some other thing. It is a two way street obviously as you are seen as an equal and women may not like the fact guys treat other guys very poorly. Remember more men are killed daily in society then women, and most acts of crime are between men, so raising women into the equality range puts them into this realm.
Conversely feminism requires men to focus on the layers in humanity which society has only provided a hammer and a screwdriver and women are handing men a box of screws and nuts and stating WTF why aren’t you performing to what we need, while men give women nails and screws ….
So what you are seeing is men are saying fuck it and with free porn taking care of their needs and supplementing it with transactional sex. When done, they walk away.
Men today IMO see zero value in supporting the current society. So guess what if society is trash then they will mimic what they see and feel. So women are stating they want me to be employed and be a full human and to fight for women with no strings attached and to want and like doing it.
Men are showing their layers passively, and we will learn and see what happens when a large part of society walks away. I guarantee nearly everyone won’t like it.
You be you. If women truly desire men to be feminists one has to help men in areas to show how it helps them be better human beings without strings.
One can’t have it all, especially with human relationships as it conforms to the laws of diminishing returns. Pick what is important to you and keep reasonable standards but also realize the higher the standards a person uses means one better have the assets to back the standards expected.
Just like a vast majority of men can’t hold a candle to a lot of women, some men after a taste realize that the person isn’t worth it and bail.
Me personally, I believe deeply in loyalty in my relationships since I am a really forgiving person. I am also a feminist, who actively reads up on the topics and has a queue of feminism books to read up on.
If I were single again, I know being a demisexual person that most of the app would not be for me. If there was an app that used a format similar to Medium writers that is where I would be because I find depth sexy ….
As for feminism, using silly traditional beauty ranking views of 0–10. If women showed off the ability to communicate on these topics gave a guy a +5 for long term fun … and showed empathy and sympathy when guys have good intent through failures then … you might find men wanting to want to be feminists.
Lastly in relationships where intimacy is, one better be open and honest with each other and be ready to deliver. Folks like to talk about sexual frequency, so if engaged with guys both sides better talk about how often one-on-one sex is to occur and in ranges of 50–350 times a year views. So if a person gets their non sexual standards met, they better understand that their maybe a high intimacy target required and with certain activities needed.
I hope you do find the partner you desire and deserve as your writing shows a depth of thought; However you might be amazed once you know the depths some men have once they trust their partner.