No means fucking no.

Silence doesn't mean yes, it means ask again.

I can get very very horny, but I guess my silver lining to my experiences is that I know what it feels like when someone doesn't ask and doesn't listen to when I say no.

Some guys will say but but ... my comment is the level of gray and time and space for safety only increases when you are fully committed to another person for a long period of time "and" it may include living with another person, but the same rules apply.

No MEANS no.

Now on the flip side in LTR relationships or if as a woman who desires to be chased or has sexual fantasies and desires about being desired.

Women do not have the right to the pool and flame that is desire within the man ever either. They can't shame or put down a man who's desire wanes either as that spark and flame is also a precious resource in return.

When committed to intimacy with a partner, the ability to light the spark and ownership gets transferred from 100% of the guy to the relationships in a co-ownership; however, as it is his spark the woman for this still has to ask for consent and if consent doesn't happen either via words or the fact the interest isn't there.

Then both partners need to talk and figure out how to make sure both needs are met. A man must learn to trust openly and communicate and not ghost, but a woman must also learn that the initial sparks are gifts from the man to the woman in return. Those are not infinite resources either.

Maybe if folks learned about the dance, later in life when women are cursed (do note I also see this as a blessing) with the hormonal surge that boys to men feel and that later lose in life ... they also realize the personal hell men are in too, and men in return need to learn the importance of communication.

On the flip side, I learned an interesting lesson in life that most CIS-Het men never realize. I was pursued by several gay men persistently. I found I had zero skills in learning how to handle this fact and fate and it was really really uncomfortable. Especially when my phone some mornings was plastered with dick picks, and statements saying dude ... you are such a bear daddy come on ... let me show you why our team is better then that fickle thing you really desire.

I then look at the ceiling and ask ... why did I get this shit ... and of course ... insert a large cock as a pic ...

no means no, yes means continue until I say no