On my trek through the wilderness (and tying together your excellent article)
Mastering stoicism is exposing more of the vulnerability and good emotions (smiles and tears) and controlling the bad emotions (hate and anger) so they can be reprocessed and diluted into civil and responsible ways.
The male sexuality flame is raw and nuclear in it’s explosiveness. One needs to build the shielding and walls (interesting that water is used to cool it no?) to direct it into a very strong and powerful energy response. Do you allow it to turn into raw lust where it damages the man, the partnership he creates, or uses in a transactional sake the partner he is with? -or- Do you transform it and shape it into a highly focused beam which takes (lets presume a woman/hetero) that sizzles the ocean down until all the water has evaporated? Then you help collect the rain water from the clouds and steam back and place it back into the “ocean” or “lake” of femininity so the boat of masculinity can ride again.
Most guys take their fists and fear to force the water without evaporation and harm and hurt ….
So I agree with you … stoicism is great as long as it is being used to filter out the bad so the good can rise to the top and set free or from crying and working through the depression from trauma with tears and words and not fists and fear.
Chivalry is another thing I practice personally. I have had people give me the evil eye, but frankly my intent has always been to be nice to someone by opening a door or stepping to the side if need be. My partner is like I don’t need you to open the damn door for me I can do it myself. My view is I am doing it because I want to help you go forward and get their faster so IMO you believe it is about control and that is on you not me.
As a anecdotal story … we moved to Texas and were going to a restaurant. A mother and son were slow going through the door (to the point where one could mutter WTF ….. [son was playing on a phone and the mother had to bump him aside to get into the door. I quickly grabbed the door and held it.
My partner went walking through …. there was a black couple behind us and we both made eye contact and they stopped. We had a detente. I was like would you like to come in …. and then the woman went in and the man stopped ….
I said I am holding it open for you too. Chivalry has no gender bounds. Now I did get the fun of “what took you so fucking long” in response, but hey it is what it is. My comment back was …. why do I Love a redhead …. why? :)
So I agree … Stoicism, Responsibility, Chivalry, Humility … I would also add accountability ….
Fantastic writing Joe as usual. So you know I used some of your examples from your writing with my therpaist a little while ago. You are a really good man.
On the poly front … we were watching the Politicians and my partner stated something about the throuple (sp.) …. I stated it is such a shame that they have to spin it with the traditional filters about how it is being weaponized to hurt a career woman ….. Don’t know if you binge Netflix … but maybe commentary from you on that might be a fun one to read (or not).