One person will never fill the intimacy and love needs of another. Boundaries, openness, and communication are critical.
If one doesn't communicate heart feelings, emotional cheating can occur; however, if the connection with another helps a person resolve issues with their partner it can be a 1+1 = 3 scenario.
If it becomes apparent that the core relationship can't be rectified it will provide a person an understanding of how the bridge will never meet. Then the required stepping away and ending of the relationship can help one deal. If a person is really good, they learn where they are failing, what traumas are they feeding and deal with it.
But all in moderation as you say.
In my mind I used masks and stoic walls to block the pain and shield others from it. Then I took the walls down brick by brick and left one wall up around my core soul with a door.
The question is who do you give the key to it and to whom do you leave the door cracked for.
My view on "me" is people should know the raw power in my soul which kept me alive in darkest days for decades is very very hot and strong. The passion now that the pain is gone is starting to light up like a runaway nuclear reactor because it is building the power to build a self sustain flame in the glass boy in my being. The glass boy that was pulverized into silica dust and left to blow into that dark abyss.
The female warrior in me captured every grain of it and rebuilt it .... now the question as this process happens. If people get a peak into the light and heat of the soul, do they burn up from the raw energy or learn to know how to keep warm and safe. I will of course be careful not to leave it open or shut it so people are not bedazzled, but it is there.
Those folks (especially) women who are held in bondage for the fear of their life, and become liberated know what I am meaning. Since the boy in them ran free ....
Be Clear, Be Concise, Be Direct
But love and communicate always.
Be well. Amazing article.