Prior to my current partner, the most memorable sexual partners?
The muscle muscle-bound gymnast, the hippie chick, the rubeRubenesquensque more mature woman, who actually had pantyhose hose on under her jeans because she stated (I want your hands to slide quick and fast up babe.
What I don't remember much of?
The hot models and the "10s" as they were "meh". I do remember a few as they came about realization in my life saying "man is that all there is?"
The key to sexiness? Confidence.
I know about the downside of a lack of it in body positivity, I deal with it too and fight against it. How I know this is through the proof as I build up my confidence in a real and positive way I feel it coming and reminding me of my past where I saw the girl biting her lip when I took off my shirt or when I bent over. I want to have my body back for health reasons, but I won't lie ... remembering that too #priceless.
I wonder if the solution to this madness of hell is if our society can get men in sufficient numbers supporting one another in positive ways, where then women don't have to go to the hyper extreme as you observed. If men had the self-confidence and good traits, and we had balance between the genders, then maybe this bad feeling you had wouldn't happen.
E.g. Take your sister and your last picture. I love curly hair. It is very sexy. You have a devilish twinkle in your eye that says, if you try to dance with me oh boy are you going to be in for a challenge. Your sister is very pretty, don't get me wrong, but there can be a curse to her world too. Some guys are so blinded by the flashbang look, that they lose all skill to truly sit down and work through the layers of the person, which is where real connection goes.
So take nude art of either of you, in today's age, there would be lots to wonder about what is inside you, while the latter would be focused on the pure external ones.
Frankly, who wants two dimensional when 3rd and 4th dimensional can be infinitely more fun.
I am sorry that our society and male gaze expectation has impacted you so poorly. I hope my words and experiences for guys that read help educated them on the beauty of the words you write, and the naked view you have, combined with self-confidence, make you a 10 in the books of life ...