Riddle me this:
Patriarchy ... Batman
Sugar Babies ... Batgirl
Empowered Sex Worker ... Batwoman
Questioning the use of a person's autonomy from what little I have learned from feminism and from observing great woman, and some shady ones too, IMO makes you not a good feminist or a bad one but a great one.
From my perspective as a white male with privilege, I have seen these relationships and interacted with them first hand (not personally mind you as I don't pay for sex). I even have one example where it turned into marriage.
The issue is our society, where we criminalize the true right to choose; however, we greenlight the selling of the most precious commodity. Love
Prostitution is an engagement where both parties agree to terms and there is a give and take that at least one level is "equal".
Sugar Babies is an engagement where one party promises the future of sexual engagement and capitalizes on the intimacy and love of the GFE (girlfriend experience aka sugar babies).
The feminist in me says I am not going to tell a woman that she can't do prostitution or be a sugar baby, because, I have a belief that women should not sell their sex or intimacy, but I can’t impose my belief on her as that violates the premise of free will and equality.
Ethically (good vs evil/bad) is where this comes down to a real issue. The problem with GFE is that a person’s intimacy is being sold. IMO, this is a bit worse of a situation because if one can separate sexual engagement from intimacy, we are putting a $$$ on a person’s soul and pushing a view for certain possibly undesirable traits for a person to act, live, and be which in my ethical viewed world is far worse.
Now if one lives in an area where you have a trifecta of porn, GFE, and prostitution, this GFE provides the last key to the apocalypse where now you can create a human-based sex robot, akin to West World. That means boys and girls are being conditioned to learn to please a high master based upon a warped version of some person(s) reality. Porn may not be inherently bad, nor prostitution, but GFE seals the deal. So it says, hey my name is “Al” and I have money and wealth and resources, do I take someone amazing and awesome and independent like “Vanessa” who has a WAP or do I find some girl who has a docile and subservient mind named “Kandy” who doesn’t have a WAP, because you know … dry is good [again those that don’t know me this is the exact opposite of me].
Now lets put a $$$ value against that and condition for that, but hey “it is ok” because there was no sex implied, but all girls now want the $$$ so grooming becomes acceptable.
Now we have documented at length in society the effects on women, and frankly, I am not one so I can’t cover that. If I did hello mansplain badge :)
What I can talk to is the effects on boys and men. We all know from documentation, articles, #metoo, and everything that men and boys mature slower and are even regressing on many levels. While we have made fantastic strides over the arc from Woman’s Suffrage to 2020 (yeah Kamela and Hillary) the reality is the hyper-focus, which was needed for women and girls has come at the cost of limited budgets in cash and social currency of boys.
When we have to rely on a razor company selling blades to use shame to biological males for not being “men” so you can be all that you can be and by our razors, it is no different then what they did to women in the 1910s saying your legs are hairy you are dirty. If you are dirty you are implied to be a whore, no man will want you.
So now you are not a man, so the moral of this example is women now have a pool of men who are very shallow if at all with masculinity and in some cases barely human. A friend I was talking to about a hell she lived, I stated men are like rich soil inland and women are like a transplanted tree. The question is will the tree or sapling or seed land in the fertile ground with men to grow and reach the full potential of femininity AND masculinity? Today now … no.
So the GFE experience makes it even harder if not impossible to get men to mature, so women from 30–60 (and obviously wide ranges) once they achieve equality and look for the next milestone, desire companionship, family or even maybe kids. Find in the pool of water that is masculinity, it is nearly a dry creek bed or very shallow. They then find out due to men being checked out it really is a valley of woman’s tears because men have given up or naively stumbled off the cliff and died.
So all the empowerment that can be made, would mean that even if one put women 100% in charge with the current system would basically turn 1/2 of the gender into a sex slave at worst, or numb and disconnected at best.
So while prostitution to teach boys the mechanics of sex and while “bad” in a way since it monetizes a person’s body, the GFE experience monetizes a person’s soul.
To me, that is extremely unethical, perverse, vile, and evil, and for some people that live in the shadow to use equality to cover for it truly makes them Episteins’ mistress.
Commoditizing what should be not commoditized is a redline and there can be no real choice made. It makes a person inhuman, so one IMO should allow the person the free choice to do it but realizing it is the equality for both genders to dehumanize equally. If one has to make a deal with the crossroads demon, it should be to allow prostitution with clear and strict guidelines where both boys and girls and men and women are educated and equal and safe. If one wants to live with the saints, then we need to make sure women (and men) are safe and free to be employed in non-sex work, and allow the freedom of choice to engage in whatever sexuality desires they want in groups and people with free will, 100% consent and honesty with no violence, no rape, and shame.
So if a woman or man desires to be spanked and wants to be watched in public, she/he should be able to do so with no risk and no shame and no threats to do as one pleases. People should be rewarded for openness, honesty, and integrity and treated equally. They should not have to see themselves to survive or live.
If women especially with men nowadays desire a rich more formed men, we seriously as a society need to learn to empower those masculine traits and support like hell the building of them with boys and allowing men to grow and fix “their shit”. That means building communities of men like women that are not bro-culture based and that allow men to vent their issues and concerns in a constructive way with words and improved actions for all of society.
Right now we have 1/2 a gender checked out, and worse off a small sliver of the gender pool able to truly master drilling out the hearts and souls of women and in the processes darkening the soul “so the lights go out” like the poem I wrote. This stuff is very much real. I have seen it and to tell you the truth, I will take my dual traumas over watching my lights go dark.
A Dark “Al” would be the one that says yeah my wife needs to be behind me and be dry and tight. This “Al” wants a WAP and a woman that owns her shit and is fiercely independent, strong, calls me on my shit and is my partner in life. If people say yeah yeah …. because I want someone that empowers me to be the “best” that I can be. I want to do so because that “woman” is worth it and I am lucky to ride and die. I don’t want to sign a check that says $5000 for a weekend baby no matter how damn sexy she looks. I don’t pay for a woman’s soul.
So if one is to apply ethics with feminism, I would say it would make a person is a “bad” feminist for saying GFE’s are good, but hey that is my POV.