Could the rage I encountered be cultural shame over the prevalence of sexual exploitation? Men must know what’s considered sexually appropriate. I doubt there’s any ambiguity when someone crosses the line, whether it’s sending unsolicited expli…
Kerry McAvoy, PhD
Kerry McAvoy, PhD sadly the answer more and more is no. The reality is we should stop calling them "men" and call them biological males, boys, or retarded male adults.
Men, they are not.
The poor man right oh my we can't blame him? Well, he is poor of mind, poor of thought, poor of the proper civility and ethical views.
He is an untrained dog in a way, and women and some men have to deal with the yuck factor.
The problem is it is because of the nonconsensual nature and the fact with free speech calling out that I did X, is not illegal. Creepy AF, wrong, and objectifying, that the only thing one can do is enable stalking (the problem is it would need a pattern), and or the person could be ejected from the forum.
Blocking and muting is also something, but frankly, they can come back as someone else and it becomes a game of whack-a-mole.
Why the F*ck are guys like this? Well, we started an experiment on boys and men over the past 22 years. We made porn available anywhere and anytime and hell now with waterproof phones there is no limits.
What that means is the lines on the phone are so blurred is he talking to an amazing woman like yourself, or some chat woman on a tube site, or is he lost in his own insanity because your words, your avatar picture, and his lust blinds him to the fact he is dehumanizing and objectifying you as a person.
Stop and think about this. Men under the age of 30-35, now literally have been able to at will get off to porn on demand 24x7x365 nonstop. We are seeing the effects of this on men 30-35 with 100% exposure, and for men 35-60, you are seeing patterns where they have spent >50% of the lives being able to well do what they please.
Women wonder where the men are, what the fuck happened to them, why does intimacy suck, and lastly why have men stopped caring in large numbers.
Well, they can masturbate 1-4x a day to whatever they want and a human being is a fetish / side-show.
In the beginning, it may be new enough that he can be all-in but wait for it ... it will rear its head.
I am not anti-porn, and I am not a low libido guy. I also for the longest time had to use porn and masturbation while on the road to ensure that I didn't stray and dealt with my poor self-confidence.
Am I proud of that? No. But seriously, for those that know me ... know to survive what I did and not take it out on other human beings or my partner or myself, if anyone should/could slip it should be me. But I didn't, so these knuckleheads definitely don't get a free pass.
Does something have to be done? You betcha, but it would take a coordinated effort and since there are large swaths of men who say well you are equal to us, so now whatever, you don't need me so I don't care [do note this is not my opinion]. So how does one get enough women AND men together to fight this issue?
The problem is what does one do? Kill porn, bring back victorian era sexuality? What is interesting is I was on a flight from Frankfurt to Newark and I was watching a CSI Miami in first-class... I learned a new phrase ... Porn Creep.
It was so ridiculous I wrote it down in my notebook (yes pen and paper), and researched it later on InfoSpace/google/yahoo.
It was a real term, and what was ironic was leading feminists at the time and the religious right was in arms. Their concern (and remember this was the early 2000s) was that men were turning away from women and going to self-pleasure through porn. They even did interviews in clubs in NYC, where guys said fuck it women weren't worth it ... go dance and club and then go home and whack off.
Now we are seeing the repeated pattern over and over and over.
Folks see this as a victimless crime because it is characters on a screen. They have set such a low bar for me, that it is expected that men do this. It is sad.
As an experiment and trying to improve me as a man, and realizing that I did the work to fix my sexuality and gender as I documented. I realized the thing that saved me from ending it and doing stupid things, was actually hindering me.
So what I started to do was start to not self-pleasure and try to preserve and conserve for my partner. I wanted to also try to understand what I read from female authors about their sadness and thirst for a real partnership with men and how they tried to process the discomfort and pain and ugh.
I am on day 11, and I am climbing a wall. So I don't know how you ladies do it, because in reality, high libidos are not gender-specific.
I have never gone this long in my life, but you know what you won't see me do.
Sit there and go to a female author and say ... yeah, baby yeah ... I did X.
No. I am working on my filters to stay sane and respectful and kind.
Luckily, she has a horse show coming up and it sucks because she will be gone for 10 days (ugh). But I will use the management of the farm (feeding 20+ head, dealing with the 9 cats, and doing my job which has been an epic PiTA with 80 hour weeks.
To try to focus that raw energy elsewhere. Now there is a silver lining! I took the raw sexuality that I want to use and turned it into poetry.
So for those that read it, hey maybe they can see the raw energy I have for women and humans with strong female presences in it.
I am sorry as a sacred and masculine man that you had to deal with the dregs of male biology. If it was a bar in Texas and the guy said that to you, well you know how us Texans deal with assholes. A punch in the mouth and trust me with my raw pent up energy … well shit ….
Be well ….