She may not realize how toxic her comment was and her internal biases and fears multiplied into a maelstrom of hell.

You don't owe her anything at all, but if you did have a long friendship and relationship and want to pay the Emotional IQ cost and tax. In fact, if you even enteratined this? Have your husbnad do the talking.

Your call and you definitely are far more educated in the hellscape of being both a black and woman in our society.

All I can say is it really sucks, I am sorry you went through this, and I am sorry you lost time and trust in another person you believed was your friend.

May you have the inner peace and joy and love to compensate for the loss.

But on the flip side take the lemons you have been given ... your husband is a lucky guy, better remind him how lucky he is :D