Alan Tegel
3 min readAug 6, 2020


Kerry McAvoy, since you are far more experienced with the sexuality and psychology, you are, but I have spent a lot of time-fighting the sexual beast, and the damage so I have put a lot of thought into it.

The joys of not sleep much for 15 years, being stuck in a hotel bar or restaurant bar solo, but never really alone. I am a very chatty guy and have had a lot of wonderful discussions with folks (ENFP-T).

My faith in men is very slim. Why? How many have really put the effort and work into working on their masculinity and sexuality? Stop and think about it.

How many men without being goaded by their partners attack this head-on?

What scares the hell out of me, and I hear in the tone of female friends voices too. "Hey, Lisa ... how's it going with your life and dating and the kids etc? She was a very bubbly outgoing redhead woman I work with. I helped get her a job back at the company I work (yeah I do help lean in too), and was waiting on a Zoom call for the others to come on.

She stated, sheesh Al I gave up. I am all in for some booty call action and other things and am careful because I have to take care of 4 kids solo (she even did a road trip ...) I want it but it ain't worth it, every man is a waste.

This woman is not a prude. She said fuck it, I am better off with no-one then with this.

Guys are scared, struggle to communicate and women have had enough. (I mean seriously who wouldn't). So now for quite a few sex is transactional too, and now we have a race to the bottom.

Since you do the work, track marriage rates and birth rates, and teenage pregnancies. Start with the advent of online internet and tell me if you see a trend.

Men do need to do better, but right now women are rightfully putting a lot of men in a time out, and some men are saying "whatever" and fapping away and doing the stupid shit you just observed.

Make note, some women use avatars now to hide their faces. I don't blame them.

Men heavily relied on patriarchal systems to survive, and now that they are being dismantled or gone. They are listless. Men don't have groups of bonding like women have built either, so their communication is poor and the ability to handle complex emotions is not good.

So women have to implement hard rules, and we all know what happens when that occurs. Humanity, love, and intimacy die. Great work for you on your billables, sucks at the human experience.

Then the other axes fall later for women, too.

Kids and committed relationships happen, and then men shouldering more stress and lacking abilities to communicate shut down and go numb. Then women say WTF ... where is my intimacy and why is this relationship dying on the vine. Or worse a guy that tries ends up dying ahead of his time (Think of the Lean In COO from Facebook Cheryl Sandburg whose husband dropped like a rock on a treadmill.

Mother Nature is a cruel Mofo, men sense this and maybe it is a sign that our society is too broken and we need to really change it all. Then maybe men will want to step up. Dunno.

Love your articles and I am sorry if this is lengthy, but your writing always brings out a lot of "verbiage". I sense drinks and discussion would be an amazing thing



Alan Tegel

Lover of people, Texas Feminist Liberal Democrat, Horse Farm, High Tech Gadget ENFP Guy, and someone who appreciates the struggle of women and wants to help.