So I was raped as a guy, my feminist girlfriend at the time (1990s) told me I was gay and asked for it since a guy of my size couldn’t have that happen.
Shut down and hated hated hated feminists. Fast forward 20 years plus of hard core stoicism that my therapist (no longer needed) stated she was proud of me because any other guy that followed my path “ended themselves”.
How did I fix it? I became a feminist. No joke. Doing this helped me understand what mindful masculinity was and also made me figure out while the boy inside this man was killed, destroyed (I call him a glass boy) and ground to dust. It was the female warrior spirit that kept me alive and held me together, to the point I think some folks thought I was gay due to the filtering I did.
Fast forward through the age of Trump, and when I saw the pain emit, I thought ok … the shit is bad, women and liberal’s will come and raise up and we can move forward (I am a liberal republican).
Instead, I saw a lot of super harsh, well he is in power I am ok to attack no matter the reason because if he is white and male he fucked someone over ….
Meanwhile, I kept thinking great …. awesome … I am fucked. What I did do though is I spoke out when metoo happened and shared and worked hard and got beat up by trying to talk …. some awesome women came to my defense, and I met some mother of all trolls who dressed themselves up as SJWs or White Female Cult (I do yoga and I teach people enlightenment … etc)
I blame myself for not communicating well if I pissed them off and learned my lessons.
But it was harsh. Luckily (due to another trauma [tied to a chair by a female babysitter when I was child and sexually assaulted (but not allowed to orgasm … i.e. I have never been able to orgasm from oral or hand ) ….
It fired up kink and BDSM stuff … so in my head while dealing with it, I could process things through porn and other things very very edgy and because I didn’t feel like I was worth a damn …. I did everything you could think about sexually ….
So to me …. I was able to not personalize it and if I did I worked through it …. Now, I am 100% good and working through the damage of two decades.
I survived, but those that didn’t take the time with therapy (guys), work on their communication, truly try to empathize with POC or women etc …. good luck to them as any call out unless they are super well balanced won’t end well.
Then we will get the formula you stated where one empowers the next over and over ….
My advice to guys is always ….. women use words, they are wise with their use of words because one wrong word can mean death to them, and if they don’t give a F*ck … they are hurting so bad from someone else … it isn’t about you …. let them vent, listen and be there. IF after they follow you around like a troll and continue to attack you, then shun, block or respond verbally in kind, but understand … if you are just realizing this is an issue now, well …. read Radium Girls … you will see this has been a shit show for American women for nearly 140 years plus …. and if you are concerned about a gillette commerical ….. well … that is 2–3 years ….. who wins? (the answer is nobody) ….
Thank you for a great article and if you read this … thanks for taking the time.