Sorry for your loss, the pain most people don't understand is about the void from the pure love and happiness that was there.
Take that with the pain, which never truly goes away. The goal is to try to contain it, respect it and lock it away (my mental object I use is a Pandora's box). Capture it store it and lock it away and look to fill the previous void with love and hope and carefree times.
Once that is full if you need to open the box or it escapes, then know it doesn't have many places to go, and you will be stronger to put it back.