Thank you Medium AI for tossing this up 12 months later (ha).

There is a fine line in which preference or fetish becomes a pure objectification. It hits guys hard IMO, because some of the things that guys get into fetish's with they don't have the perspective of being the ones' desired ever.

As James Finn stated below, those in the queer society get a taste of it and then have an appreciation for it and its harm. Also, though, they can learn to change and adapt.

While I don't travel now and live in peace away at my farm in Texas, which oddly allowed me to fully heal, I traveled a lot and had a lot of diverse friends.

When I was groped, fondled at some gay bars where I would go with my friend who would state that Al isn't gay.

Well, can you guess what came out! The fetish of lets convert him, and since I am a bigger guy ... oh yeah ... Big Bear and Daddy came out too.

I then understood what it felt to be some women I might have over-fixated with.

I do believe the damage from fetish oriented folks drifting is always there and people should take care as the extra desire and attention from someone with a strong preference/fetish comes at a cost.

But it needs to be evaluated on a case-by-case way.

E.g. I am very kink friendly (natural switch pansexua).

Why?

I had a belt taken which in some fetishes (CBT) as a child, so my mind associated pain and pleasure and action to that. Take a variety of other things around power dynamics of a female authority and you see how the mind and body deals with pain and discomfort with pleasure so we can cope.

I strongly desire women with nationalities different than mine. That doesn't mean I don't find white European women unattractive (on the contrary) but why do I find a a Latin based culture, african, persian, etc?

I have several allergies, which means my parents genetic swap didn't do well ... sucks for me. So my body signals I need a different type of genetics to make a better baby.

So feeling that means I see interracial interactions as a net-net positive. I am a science based person, and we are better when we are different and come together and join up.

Don't believe me? Look at the ultrarich who interbred ...

But do realize any sexual intimacy engagement comes down to the most important thing regardless of preference versus fetish.

Consent.

If a person is with another based upon an unchangeable characteristic and you don't see deeper and that person consents "and" feels physically and emotionally safe .... you have a problem that needs work.

Work on it.