Thanks for sharing your stories. If guys stop and listen and don’t take it personally they can side step a few land mines. The other advice I would give is instead of worry about what you are going to say and do with Step 1 or A in an interaction, plan out step 2 or B and step 3 or C instead of thinking what she looks like under the clothes.
If you can’t (and that is ok because realization is the first step), then go find your favorite porn and get off and try again. I would recommend not to make it a full on habit and try to supplement it with something else, but lets be real the hormone monster will eventually win out.
So the sad statement of fact for society now for guys is not the milestones of relationships, marriage, kids, or owning your own house. It is adding a fourth or more emotional response to the Fight, Flight, or Fuck triad that all men circle around.
Also realize just like there are bad actors in the male gender pool, there are plenty of bad actors in the female side of the house and one shouldn’t judge the whole gender by the actions of a few.
But like a genie watch out what one wishes for, women may eventually get the emotionally available men, but then they will have to realize that the same insecurities that plague women also plague men and the grass on the other side of the fence is just concrete painted green with little bits of glass ….