Thanks for the share. Having felt loss like this with meeting people that were soul mates and even a “twin flame” and realizing some things aren’t meant to be and life is about learning to try to embrace folks like this as friends because these are the best friends one can be.
What I figured out is the anger (I felt) was due to me not being good enough, or working on my issues so that I was a good enough partner to warrant long term companionship and intimacy.
It is a horrible experience at so many levels, but if you can fight and win against the anxiety demon and it’s main weapon of fear and anger ….. the richness of your soul will increase exponentially.
Nature is about balance. We all dream and desire of having the most perfectly looking person with us, but then we forget that the weakness to it is mother nature way of trying to make sure that the person has a chance to replicate and be loved, since they maybe extremely short on the real important capacity of having a decent soul, mind, and heart.
I am a performance architect in technology. I have to deal with the abstract beauty and simplicity of design, but my work requires me to drill down and deep into topics to very low levels.
So in my personal life I realized I needed to do that exact same thing with intimacy and love and relationships. That is why I am demisexual, because the beauty is in the layers and how things interact and work together.
So why talk to this? Fighting those demons and winning and building the processes make you a stronger, more beautiful person and most importantly a richer individual well worthy of the best that society has to offer. (along with everyone else that follows you or reads this and comes out with positive feelings).