That is the silver lining to the shit show of my life. I went from a player to a demisexual, and you know what … give me fewer lovers and partners that are as deep as an oceans versus thousands in a shallow creek.
Give me time, trust, honesty, and openness, and I will take my curiosity and imagination and shower the organ between your ears, provide warmth and tenderness to what is between your armpits for hours before even touching what is between your legs. If I do it right, the mental pleasure exponentially grows with the gravity of my action and words (presuming we are standing up) ….
I have this theory with relationships. One can either pick someone similar to oneself or different. The reasoning is usually due to internal walls, safety and fear (e.g. a highly liberal democratic heterosexual urban woman meets up with a liberal republican heterosexual rural man) …
Relationship potential is the sum of the differences …. if a person is 80% similar, the net potential gain for the relationship is 2.4 (1 + 1 + 0.2 +0.2), if you are 80% different it can be 3.6 (1 + 1 + 0.8 + 0.8) … but there is a downside ….. as you can be left with only 0.8 or 0.2 of yourself after the relationship goes bad ….
So if looks is part of that reason for difference, guess what …. that difference can go away and the added benefit one is hoping for “disappears”. Meanwhile, take myself and another ….. well with toys and hands and voice no matter the age, time, and place ….. say hello to my mental little friends :D
Love your writing and topics …. be well.