The answer is simple, work this in reverse. Cook for one and wash for one and pick a space that is yours and only use it. E.g. have a second bathroom, use it exclusively.

Then make the change, and don’t say anything and spend the residual time on you.

I cook awfully even at my best, but I do all the dishes and laundry without a fault. We don’t have kids (we have a horse farm) on every day off I help with the stall cleaning so she doesn’t have to.

When I have the full energy and time, I will even do a full house cleaning of the floors. The only problem is I am not as good as it as she likes, so I get the fun tongue lashing of why can’t you do better. So I try and just realize there are things I need to do better.

He needs to do this if he considers himself a feminist and most importantly a good friend, lover and husband … otherwise it is all talk and no show.

Before other guys might say WTF …. my libido has always been higher then my partners (though with a fun twist of irony as we both age the roles are starting to switch :) ) so while I have my household and farm maintenance required, she has her intimacy targets … (now … this is obviously consent driven).

Life and relationships take two to tango …. whether it is in the sheets, with the mop, vacuum, or dishes ….

Lover of people, Texas Feminist Liberal Democrat, Horse Farm, High Tech Gadget ENFP Guy, and someone who appreciates the struggle of women and wants to help.