The biggest realization Leigh Norén, MSc, is taking some of the raw male sexual energy and transforming it into productive things.
Female and male sexuality as you well know (I am the man in the cheap seats in the stadium of this intellectual arena, as you are the head coach) is radically different.
For guys, I would recommend less porn and more romance novels and understanding women, and much more controlled masturbation.
For girls, I would recommend more porn and fewer romance novels and more masturbation.
Everything women believe they know about men is like a broken clock. Why? Men don't talk, and women based upon confirmation and anecdotal life bias presume they do.
The only way out of this mess is talking, but how does one deal with the emotional labor of growing men from more than two emotions (anger and lust).
So meanwhile, women pattern men off of their expectations and fantasies (no issue there as women's fantasies are far more wholesome and rewarding net-net due to the survival angle).
This leads to gross disappointment and unfulfilled lives and bedrooms.
I am no one special, but as a guy trying to reach out. Women having the fear of safety and loss and lust and love is horrible but if one has a common enemy/issue (men). It is easier to fight.
Then men have that and the fact they look in the mirror and realize they are their own enemy, other men are their enemies, and women see them as the enemy.
I had a bias from observation internal and external. Men see women as the bearer of life and death. They only see themselves as bringers of death, with no concept of life (it is all abstract)
A woman shared her view of men. She said she saw that life was the spark and so full of life that brought life into women. I never thought of it.
My view has been my male sexuality and essence is a hot nuclear flame in a glass boy under the armor of man. My fixing of me was realizing I had two warriors in me .... female and male to protect that glass boy.
Life always tries to shatter it. For me, literally the glass boy was pulverized into silica and the flame would flame up and out hot and go out due to the deep dark abyss and the dark passenger who took joy.
I figured out it was the female warrior that was all that was left trying to grab the silica before it disappeared into the abyss forever. She is one tough Mofo .... as we all know women are.
My glass boy now is gorilla glass, warm to touch and very responsive to touch versus the past tempered version. Now he looks out and to the girls in life and say ... wanna play?
That is when anxiety goes away.