The joy being a natural switch in these things, is I can appreciate being the one bent over the bed just as much as being the one telling my partner to bend over too.
I have met women in life who were seriously uncomfortable with a man that enjoy submission. They perceive weakness or what not, what they don't seem to get until it is probably way to late, that by knowing the path in the deep dark woods, where you find that rabbit hole ...
I know how to go down the hole myself, and go deep I do.
The hard part in life as I have found out, are those folks that process and go through the extremes are usually doing so for some reason. The question is it from trauma, loss, or pain, or is it from true good carnal desire.
I am a person that loves people and never wants to see them hurt or be in pain, however, the thrill of funishment and knowing if you really want a consensual taste, well ... you know.
There is a rehash of an 1980s cartoon "Voltron" that was released this past decade. There was an evil female head mistress for training, that was training one of the heros. He was a lovable guy that loved food and was "fluffy". As she smacked him when he failed his lesson ... she had him repeat.
"Pain makes me smart"
:) I loved that quote because it is kind of true and the play on words was extra delicious.