The last six months have been the hardest on me physically in my life. I went from traveling heavily and being away from my farm to settling down in the most beautiful rural area one can imagine. The climate is equivalent of Napa Valley, you literally can have 80 degrees and warm beach like weather in January …. and if you are a nature lover … you will be “turned” on greatly by my farm and area. (e.g. there are more cattle and horse then people ….
Now as in my life I can never have it all perfectly …. I always have to get smacked hard by the ironic fates because well you know …. I must have pissed one or three off …
I knew I had allergies, I got shots and I knew how to manage it. Until I found out every blade of grass and every tree I have a Cat IV allergy. It is bad, and what is worse is it is year round, and according to doctors this area of Texas and Oklahoma (and tribal … yes we have two very large Native American tribes) … is considered the most allergic and pollen area due to the heavy rains and hot sun and awesome weather.
My poor body is on assault 24x7x365. It turned into allergic asthma. So take a partner whose only view is PIV as the only means of sex and well it makes things hard and disconcerting and humbling in so many ways. The reality is I move to a nice Carribean Island for a few months, my body would reset and recover and I could heal.
Some days things don’t work and I am here because running her own horse business is her dream and lifestyle. It is everything that she wants and desires. Problem is no oxygen …. lots of problems … then being horny and having one’s body give out …. sucks on so many levels.
So I totally understand the tired aspect and the rooted aspect as the well is deep on that …. what I have learned given her limitations and mine it is all the most important to be all-in even if I know failure is probably going to happen.
So the ah-ha moment for me is tapping into this rooted energy, and being like a soldier on Normandy Beach, knowing that his love for freedom, country and his fellow humans who are free are all that matters. Tap the root no mattter how you feel, push through, and pray you make it … and if you drop it is the act that matters and the love and vulnerability you give as a person to another is all that matters when partnered.
If you are alone and single and if you are a CIS female, it is all the more critical you love yourself “every damn day”. Women are wired differently than men biologically (mentally gender doesn’t matter). You need to touch and feel and relax and penetrate yourself to keep the body in shape for the possibility of the future. Dream, fantasize and go sexually crazy and exotic, but what a woman shouldn’t do is fantasize about the relationship potentials as those may raise the boundaries bar to the point no man or partner can achieve.
If you are a CIS male (especially if you age), it is an imperative that you edge yourself and keep your energy intact because if you waste it all you will have nothing left to give to your partner which is critical. You need that male sexual energy to be able to tap into your heart, mind, and soul and if you waste it … (which is ok too if you are hurting) you will not have the same humanity punch that will make you as attractive to the partners you desire.
So if you are tired as a woman …. take a hot bath, close your eyes and massage yourself in those happy places. Take a toys in and make sure you feel full while enjoying yourself and resting and relaxing.
I do understand one may feel hollow, but toss those things like fear aside … having an orgasm will help greatly.
Be well …. I sense a very deep deep well in you … you should tap it and the fountain and purity of that stream have to be amazing.