The problem nearly one year and I believe fifteen years removed comes down to the phrase.
toxic culture within masculinity (not) toxic masculinity
If the original psychologist had phrased it better, maybe real work could have been done in this, but discussions based upon this terminology this gets tossed aside by nearly all men and the conversation is over.
My rule of thumb for this discussion point is this, until society has men leading the discussion (this is masculinity their domain) this discussion which should be discussed won’t be.
A poor person’s analogy would be to have men lead the charge on reproductive rights for women.
Some folks that are aggressive will say well f*ck it men, you aren’t doing it so we will.
Dealing with the multiple layers of masculinity in a time where a man can get severely beat down to death by other men, or shamed as not being “man” enough by women, or observing CIS female (presuming CIS male) only preferring sexualized alpha males while ridiculing softer men as “nice” empowers the stoic default defense in men.
As such they walk away, and playing with dolls won’t fix it and then having parents push into boys who are desiring a safe space in a public area to possibly protect one another shouldn’t call out anger for one’s daughter/child.
It should call out a discussion with the teacher in finding out what is going side ways and then setting up three zones … one for all girls , one for all boys and a shared space for both.
You are right the toxic culture of masculinity is highly damaging to boys and men, and while women have built systems together and silently with some women since the late 19th century. Men are stark naked on this, and only now in in the early 21st century is it being dealt with.
What comes to mind is the book Radium Girls. Flip the gender roles and the times, and right now that is where men are society wise when it comes to the societal patterns for what women and society and feminism is at.
I 1/2 wonder sometimes if the word feminism was spelled femenism if even that terminology would have helped too … but that is a random thought.