The simple answer from my POV is multi-dimensional and complex women, should understand the line between fantasy and reality. To have a man that embraces both sides of the house (progressive/conservative) is asking for a highly evolved person that is extremely rare.
Some might say but it is just a date, which is very much true, but it is a flawed date with an expectations bar that exceeds the standards bar, which means the person has a higher chance finding this guy in a romance novel.
It leads to a common statement I used in the past. Men need to use less porn and more romance novels, and women need to use more porn and less romance novels.
One can attempt to have both, but before that first date a person better have had lengthy discussions about needs and wants. In a way, the common technique for women is to test men and test men often. For women that desires this from an independent and lead position, one doesn't test. One sets clear communication and expectations, and does it up front and not from a wait-and-see. One could make a fun game of it and say, when we go out to a date, we will flip a coin, and the person that wins gets to choose whether to pay or not, and then the next date the other person pays.
Given equality standards, realize equal ground means no extra privilege in dating, that means no benefits that a patriarchal society has given in the past. It is poisoned fruit.
What men are needing to do is highly documented in media from a woman's POV. But what is missing is with the added weight (remember the more something weighs the more benefit and joy on accomplishment one will have), comes additional responsibilities.
Men are absent the "female gaze" and lack the ability and experience to know what it feels like to be desired. If we use phraseology, the hunter becomes the hunted in a reversed world.
Women having these desires are not inherently bad or evil, and do deserve to have this. However, being a "gentleman" or to have good intent based chivalry requires a lot of energy and reserves from a man. If a man is going to do this, he needs to receive equal in return over the longer term.
Just as men should not be applauded for doing household items or parenting, women in return may need to realize there is nothing special about working a job and being independent. It is what human do. That being said, I do understand and empathize 110% that the hill women have to push the "atlas" ball up is wickedly harder for them when compared to men. But once you are on top and have achieved it looking down or at a rare guy next to you it doesn't matter what one has done in the past, it is what will be done in the present and the future.
So folks will build walls, and the fantasies get wilder and crazier (think like a person that just consumes porn or romance novels sans real relationships), and the drift becomes larger and harder to correct.
An ex-female friend of mine (complicated :) ), stated she wanted an alpha stud, that was low key surfer dude, and she wondered why she couldn't find it. She even stated how when he didn't take the lead she thought less of him as a man, but if he tried to control her watch out!
I believe she is on her 2nd or 3rd marriage right now, cheats on her husbands, and then when we had trust asks why can't I find a good man.
Why? Because she is a person that shouldn't be in a relationship because she doesn't know what she wants. She is independent in one way, but really isn't at the most critical junction of all .... herself.
