There are multiple levels being observed now. Everyone is talking towards race, but ignoring what I believe is the most important thing.
Male on male violence.
There are oodles and oodles of articles, discussion and even full break downs on masculinity by a lot of people, and if one looks a hyper majority of them are written by women, from the perspective of the victim.
I won’t judge or nor tone police women for writing about it at all as it attempts to communicate the pain and fear seen.
As a side point example, women have been requesting politely, if you see guys acting badly other guys should step up and deal with it. I agree this needs to be done, but the internal calculus for the guy doing so has to be ready for a major physical altercation where he maybe permanently maimed, killed, or be arrested for assault.
I am super happy you have found a real and authentic man, and if we were in like circles it sounds like we could all be possible friends.
We as a society need to figure out how to foster more of this, because right now the only reactions most unknown guys have with each is flight, fight, or talk about fucking/sports/toys.
It is epically sad. E.g. 5 years ago due to analysis I did back in 2012, me and my partner made the decision to move and my prime reason was I figured a massive recession and serious violence was going to hit the US in the next decade. We moved to a rural town in Texas where we knew no-one and had no family (i.e. the ultimate white privilege [and I know this being born in Cleveland where I saw white flight from the 1970’s through 1980’s] as an offshoot of the race riots of the 1960's).
I don’t have a single local male friend in this area. My partner has friends and acquaintances. I don’t. It isn’t because I am recluse, I am an extrovert (ENFP) and I was a Dorm/Residence Hall President in my college days and I had a lot of friends (so I have social skills).
That being said …. I know I am very much like what I have seen in groups and places where I have communicated with guys in facebook groups and other outlets.
So … the disconnect is hard and real, and in today’s age if a guy starts up unknown there is a latent expectation that the person doing so is for sexual reasons or for some money thing or what not …. As such if women fear men in isolate, men fear just as much. Remember being both the victim and the villian in the same shell can be a pretty horrible thing.
Now with that personal share, overlay being a police person with a gun and an ability to put “anyone” in jail on the spot. What is a guy to do? They rely on stereotyping and profiling a person based upon known past behavior.
Hence your close friend and lover is right … it has been a shitty week with a capital S.