There are some interesting books out there that discuss this for others but you have covered it pretty well. So kudos to you ...


How Porn Has Hijacked Our Sexuality

By Gail Dines

Additional Discussion/Tangent:

Folks IMO will focus on the medium, while it is important to call out, the most important thing to talk about is consent and intimacy.

I have a silly adage for our puritanical society which has led to this polarization and the two camps of porn versus anti-porn.

Men should read more romance novels/subjects, and less porn, and women should use more porn and fewer romance novels/subjects.

If I were to take the anti-porn crowd, I bet statistically on average there would be a high consumption of fairy tale lives and highly conservative tropes of monogamy. Do note there is nothing wrong with either of these, but there are some really toxic things at play.

Now as for children, porn is the next generation of intimacy and consent and taboos, where they should not be engaging in it without parental consent. There should be requirements for login and age verification and access to it, and restrictions to non-consent where a person has no capacity to consent.

There is a cost, but the damage is already done, and we have been living the experiment for over 22 years when the internet started in full force. I started to see this when I saw a CSI Miami episode where they talked about "Porn Creep" which I thought was a made-up word (it wasn't).

At the time (now approaching 20 years mind you), Naomi Wolf and other observed feminists and the conservative Christians were having agreement on a topic of sex, which was rare. Porn hurt men.

What has been done? Well, as in life when it comes to men and sex and mind/spirit. Nothing.

Your son has urges (women [or men if so inclined] are "pretty" and when the bomb goes off (6-11 for boys), they have a tingle, they see something, and boom off they go.

The problem then comes down to the patriarchal and puritanical conditioning for men (and women) in our society where sex is taboo and racy and from there things get wonky.

The issue comes down to families and children versus the childless folks/couples. The issue is if we make "everything" family-oriented, we know from human culture and our society, the darkness will go far deeper and hidden. It reminds me of a statement where a couple complained that the Folsom fair was not family-friendly. The comment made was, this fair was not made for families, you have your own places.

Any solution will be hard to deal with, maybe if more restrictions are requested by a group to protect the children, then maybe we need to legalize sex work and set up systems that allow men and women the attempt to try intimacy out with a licensed and regulated sex worker.

I can see those that are anti-porn and anti-sexworker howl in protest, but one needs to build constructive systems to allow people to grow in a safe way, versus abstinence and shaming which is what got us into this setup.




Lover of people, Texas Feminist Liberal Democrat, Horse Farm, High Tech Gadget ENFP Guy, and someone who appreciates the struggle of women and wants to help.

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Alan Tegel

Alan Tegel

Lover of people, Texas Feminist Liberal Democrat, Horse Farm, High Tech Gadget ENFP Guy, and someone who appreciates the struggle of women and wants to help.

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