This and all of this and this plus some. I am lucky and privileged (CIS white male), but let me tell you while I am making bank. Most people would not have liked doing what I have done to make it.
I worked mission critical support gigs, 60-80 hour weeks not for a year or two, but for nearly two decades. When I travelled which was every week, it was on my time too boot. Being the Midwest, it meant no direct connects and 8-14 hour commutes (and) some weekends I was only home 30 hours maximum.
The life sucked, and the only way it was bearable was my airline and hotel status, where I had faux-family at airport hubs.
Not the greatest life, and it was shared that I reminded them of the Up in the Air Clooney.
But I was lucky as a guy, but technically via the tax code I was single. I paid a fuck ton in taxes and well lets say my relationship with my long-term partner (later my wife) was damaged.
But to do it as a woman holy fuck no, but I did meet quite a few single women who were exactly like me. But we all agreed it was brutal as fuck, and a few were amazed at my longevity.
But now ... um. It is a new level of a hellscape, and you are talking to a guy (knock on wood) who has to survive so many dot-com explosions and layoff/RIFs over the past twenty year. It does set you up for a PTSD type of situation.
Even in my current job (where I get perfects on reviews), I have been told I am the kiss of death). Every boss I have had in the last decade was fired, let go etc ... (7)
So, I am with you. We need a better system to allow people to have children, families, and relationships when the energy is there. If a person is not inclined to do a family, then more resources should be given on the back-end of their life for their extra taxes.
People should not have to live a llfe full of "ors", or we should disincentivize the reasoning for why the patriarchy lasted so long. Dominate or be dominated. I seriously have to look at is as the sole breadwinner in a household, where I have to deal with outsourcing and management that only cares about the salary but wants the output of a tech god.
So even if one is married in what was a traditional setup, one can feel screwed hard (even with privilege) that just makes one say WTF ... FFS, are you fucking kidding me? On my farm, even with her trying to make a go, I have to worry about feeding 30 plus mouths .... yeah winning baby!
We need better ... definitely, and for those tough and amazing souls sitting in four walls screaming ugh. Fist bump to you ...