This discussion point is something I had to fight with over a long period of time. I dated black women when I grew up in college, but I had extremely racists grandparents .. so it required me to shutdown.

In a way I lost out on a great experience ...

That being said I always wondered why I desired women that were what I would call "ethnic". Personally, I believe part of it was biology and part society.

My body has certain allergic issues. So when I saw women, I reacted strongly to those that were different from me. It was like my body saying, I want you to reproduce with this type of person to make the strongest "babies". So long legs to counter my shorter ones (but I have a very large upper body) [check]. Genetic make up [check].

So if you had native american, african, persian, lebanese, spanish/mexican, my desire shot through the roof.

It is interesting though because my partner has welsh heritage and is redhead. So guess what ... stubborn AF genes [check].

So once I processed that I have kindness and empathy and vulnerability that I had to shut down due to that not being manly.

I realized that I as a white male with privilege desired to protect those that were disadvantaged.

The ah-ha moment happened this past summer when Daisy Ducati wrote a powerful piece on fetishizing blackness.

I was like this is great, and then when guys kept asking but but but .... I knew the answer to her question and all the search terms I knew for "porn" were not fetishes. They were actions that a couple did together and I knew my answer.

I also realized that I needed (even pro-porn), I needed to kick that mistress out of my bed and house and deal with my final frontier.

Objectification of something a person can't control for personal satisfaction, is a fetish .... one in that trap should take the time to ween themselves off it and build healthy coping mechanisms out of that quagmire.


Lover of people, Texas Feminist Liberal Democrat, Horse Farm, High Tech Gadget ENFP Guy, and someone who appreciates the struggle of women and wants to help.

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