This discussion point is something I had to fight with over a long period of time. I dated black women when I grew up in college, but I had extremely racists grandparents .. so it required me to shutdown.

In a way I lost out on a great experience ...

That being said I always wondered why I desired women that were what I would call "ethnic". Personally, I believe part of it was biology and part society.

My body has certain allergic issues. So when I saw women, I reacted strongly to those that were different from me. It was like my body saying, I want you to reproduce with this type of person to make the strongest "babies". So long legs to counter my shorter ones (but I have a very large upper body) [check]. Genetic make up [check].

So if you had native american, african, persian, lebanese, spanish/mexican, my desire shot through the roof.

It is interesting though because my partner has welsh heritage and is redhead. So guess what ... stubborn AF genes [check].

So once I processed that I have kindness and empathy and vulnerability that I had to shut down due to that not being manly.

I realized that I as a white male with privilege desired to protect those that were disadvantaged.

The ah-ha moment happened this past summer when Daisy Ducati wrote a powerful piece on fetishizing blackness.

I was like this is great, and then when guys kept asking but but but .... I knew the answer to her question and all the search terms I knew for "porn" were not fetishes. They were actions that a couple did together and I knew my answer.

I also realized that I needed (even pro-porn), I needed to kick that mistress out of my bed and house and deal with my final frontier.

Objectification of something a person can't control for personal satisfaction, is a fetish .... one in that trap should take the time to ween themselves off it and build healthy coping mechanisms out of that quagmire.