Alan Tegel
2 min readNov 18, 2020


This is the core of it. My view is society and women (via feminism) is trying to create a safe enough space for men to embrace all sides of their personality which includes femininity and masculinity.

Right now people and society are only comfortable with the masculinity range of 9-10, when in reality one needs to be comfortable with the whole range.

It is well documented and talked to how women don't feel safe. The reality is men are the exact same way.

A possible solution if folks want to use clothes and "dressing" to empower balance, is to strip out the use of feminine and masculine with clothes.

E.g. A woman might want to say, you know what? I love men's legs. I love the muscle and the sculpture, but what I love is with a dress I can't see his bulge. This leads to me fantasizing about what is underneath, in the same way men fantasize about women.

You know guys, if you wear dresses and we are out on the town. Imagine how hot it would be to slide my hand up there ...

My advice is tread "Very very" carefully. Words matter "a lot" with men and masculinity. If folks waive their hands and say toughen up, what is empowered in the discussion is male stoic walls, which empowers dark energy in their souls.

Remember there has been no revolution in masculinity as their has been for women which started hard core in the 1890s.

Men and boys literally just don't know what or how to think about the things that make them unique.

How I fixed my masculinity and rebooted it was by researching and reading about transgendered women. One ah-ha moment to me was when I saw a very femme boy who was very very feminine looking and acting and things clicked.

Love and compassion and desire is about finding those missing puzzle pieces in our souls, which means finding our opposite and missing pieces.

Maybe for strong women with a stronger masculine spirit, balancing that with a man with a strong feminine spirit is what is needed as humanity is more then just a binary. We are billions and billions of options with multiple answers to success.

But you are right .... a dress is just that a dress. IF you are in Scotland, then it is a part of masculinity ...



Alan Tegel

Lover of people, Texas Feminist Liberal Democrat, Horse Farm, High Tech Gadget ENFP Guy, and someone who appreciates the struggle of women and wants to help.