This is where gendered expectations really sell both women and men short. By desiring the hot alpha burst of flames and "quick bang and diversity through quality not quantity", we lead to a real plight for both women and men.
If we use tropeish views from traditional society, where women "guard" their most precious intimate parts, we lose focus that the ones that are most guarded are actually men.
What? (think boy's don't cry)
Nature / God / Karma, IMO purposely teaches us this in how men and women are wired sexually too. Notice guys peak is 16-21 and women's are 30s-40s? Folks will go "clock tick", and while I agree women get a taste of the scalding flame of desire that men deal with for life. The real reality is men need to mature to fully realize and actualize a woman's full potential.
Men up to Generation X were on average 2-4 years behind women mentally. Of course some were worse and some are better, but now due to harsh gender conflict. Men have guarded their hearts even more and women while opening one set of intimacy (transactional albeit) in an attempt to lure men out of their deep dark caves have sadly regressed. I would call it the doubling effect of this, and if you add the ability for men to self pleasure that can accelerate it another 2x.
So now the women of Gen Y and Z, get to deal with men that in the past might have been 2 years behind at minimum, and now maybe 8, and yes for other 16.
Stop and think about this for the women out there, how many 30-40 year old men have you met that were development wise in your mid 20s?
Then what epically sucks, women may desire to have children, or damn it ... want regular hot and consistent love making.
Then one looks out and sees a boat of dinghies instead the yachts of men that women deserve.
So it isn't you Meaghan, it is what we as a society have failed to do. Educated men and women, and I have a saying.
You grade the success and maturity of a society on how you raise boys into men. Well, since we as a culture throw boys to wolves with no community and say gladiators are sexy AF, what should we expect.
Women should not nor ever have to do the emotional labor, but the reality is the damage to men from 8-80 we have now, is pretty damn harsh.
How do I know this? I was near the edge of death and despair, and I am a stubborn AF and passionate. I also have an extremely high libido, so I get it. I became a feminist and have worked to focus my raw desire as I age. IT took 5 years to fix me from the damage of American society, and a lot of soul searching, and suffering. Do other biological males have what it takes to fight their internal demons.
Mine are near death on the floor, when my female warrior pierced the heart of the last one and my male warrior guarded her back from the fear demon.
When don't they can kiss and light the passion that makes women (and men that desire male love) go you hot damn.
You will find that person Meaghan. I have no doubt.