This summarizes it very well.
Men who have not spent the time and energy working through gender issues, relationship work, and what not have a very long road to travel.
Women have done this work "AND" they have worked hard on being educated, independent, and able to not be a dependent.
Women IMO are requesting more and deeper relationships and intimacy because they know it is good for both men and women. Their intent is a good thing, and if a guy has fear or concerns it is due to the fear of not being good enough or deep enough (usually).
This is ok, as long as a guy you are honest, open, clear and concise about your shortcomings. Also realize, if one has a long road to go and the partner experience levels are radically different, you will
"die" (using a video game analogy) and probably will go through a lot of starter relationships.
It isn't a bad thing as long as consent is truly is honored, because not everyone is right for everyone and it takes time to grow and evolve.
Women and men are both horny and both desire relationships and comfort. There are women if confidence and safety are there will desire those one-nighters and quick-bang sex just as much as guys do. There is no magical formula based upon political view points, religious beliefs, or any label.
As for the Pareto view, as I use log normal distributions in my job ...
Sexual success as defined over the past few dozen centuries has been based upon a monetary factor. Income distributions (gini based) follows the 80/20 view. As such, it can follow the correlation doesn't mean causation fallacy patterns.
I observed this in the 1990s with groupies and sports and women and fraternity/sororities etc. If a group of women with some social standing were grouped together, they would break this 80/20 theory because with girl power everyone was going to get laid. I would also see it with the athlete group I was in also
The thing is ... that was decades ago and I do believe we have evolved as a gender and sexual group. The only difference is given the larger disconnect with men and women given increased knowledge about sexual assault "and" now the pandemic folks are very rusty and simplistic in their engagements. So now people have very large expectations on what the other sex is and can do.
Given men's stoicism, authentic masculinity and desire is even more exotic to women due to the lack of real information about what goes on with men. But women also know some exotic potions aren't worth the price of admission, unlike some guys where a whiff femininity makes them lose their minds without a thought.
A fear I have (mine to own and my sharing helps deflate it), is that women will learn the magical pandora's box men know all to well. Never finding love or intimacy and being truly invisible and alone as men on average believe they are expendable given society's views. Mother nature is cruel in that the epic sexual explosion happens in women much later in life versus mens which happens in the 6-11 year range, then given expectations of intimacy and consent (which is non-negotiable IMO) the pool of acceptable men are just not there ...
The darkness I talk to are based in the fact male suicide rates have always been super high when compared to women.
great article.
