Vote for the Best, implement female-bias for 2020

Vote for women, vote for minorities, even if the shade is 60/40 for your political kind and identity.

I am a white male Texan a liberal feminist registered Republican, and the statement of my identity *will* cause people to be triggered. Let me shared with you a tldr.

tl;dr — a personal share for Yael Wolfe and others ….

As I believe in transparency and honesty, from 2008 to 2012, I am/was a registered Republican who got tired of watching the hate brew up in the heartland of America. Most people only in 2017 only figured out what I saw and knew was happening in America since 2003. The ticking time bomb to what I call our silent civil war started and the actual war started without fanfare with ACA. People can believe or see what they would like, but understand I was a man that lived in two places. Urban and blue areas and red and rural, given my travel. Given the naive beliefs of blue and urban about America’s interior, I was treated as a novelty, but as people got to know me they knew I was a “good guy”. In the heartland, I was a stoic white male who was very alpha. I wore the mask beautifully well, folks that know more story know without it … I expire to a gun or drugs in the 1990s another casualty of the society (or in feminism and women terms patriarch).

Want to know how deep the well of anger was? I actually had a KKK member try to recruit me. When he found out I had German heritage, I got to see a racist boner of epic size. He literally called up his younger “blonde” daughter to come to the bar to meet the perfect German man. I was disgusted on the inside, and I look back and realize here is a man grooming his daughter for an older man and it flashed me back to my chair with a female babysitter.

In my poems, I talk to a woman warrior rising up and fucking the evil around me. She woke up and pushed back the hate and anger in me like a wonder woman or whatever. It was then I started to awaken as a man, who realized how broken he was.

2008 happened. I am on the road and I am proud to see a war hero step up for the GOP nomination, and I am even prouder that the GOP is pushing a woman into the VP role. Take that DNC “you fuckers” I said, then she opened her mouth. The more she spoke, the more disturbed I became. I then flashed back to when I started to turn from “playboy” and fuck’em like the alpha into the demisexual person I rode with until now. I was like WTF is this, this isn’t the best. Is this what my party believes is the best? OMG, what is happening?

The thing is … I am work in high tech, the Great Recession started and a holy hell mess started. During that time frame, I watched company after company has issues and I was trying to hold on. That being said, I realized the country needed hope and love and a bridge to build together. So on that fateful date in 2008, I voted for Obama, which was a hard thing given I never voted for a DNC person because well seeing them in Cleveland, they were as corrupt as the Mafia. (No joke look it up).

I then got to listen to a tea party asshole spout off that if a woman was raped God intended it that way. Holy flying fuck, what the fuck is this shit. This guy actually killed off a good incumbent. As a survivor of that with the psyche in a glasshouse, the female warrior took her sword and tapped the glass, and shook her head to the man running the hands and the minds of the masks that represented me.

That man realized this was fucked. I voted all DNC that cycle, not one of my friends or family knew. I started to see the rage and hate boil up even larger in the middle of the country, while the blue and urban centers raged on and lobbed the arrows of policy change not realizing they were starting a war that we shouldn’t be having.

2012 happens I vote for Obama again, and DNC to ensure the people that were there could fight the fight. My hopes for M4A or some basic sense of humanity got tied up with reproductive rights and religious rights. Just like the people in the dark wanted. People literally went nuclear and those that swung to vote for the DNC were either culled by the Tea Party or the start of what took over for Trump populism. The DNC and media were laughing hard, look at the fools.

I couldn’t vote in 2014 due to travel, and in pure irony, I got stung by the GOP mail and voting id acts. I was like seriously, how interesting a white male denied because well he can’t prove he is a citizen. It also went back to the fact I was TSA SSSS every week because I fit a terrorist profile. So that led to a fuck all of hurt

I drank, I smoked, I consumed porn and whatnot. The mask “fu” was strong, I was happy Al, great to be around. The reality though I was crying and dying inside.

I decided in 2012, that a massive economic calamity was coming and a civil like war would hit in the next decade. I took me and my damaged relationship, my poor partner she doesn’t deserve this “shit of a man”, and said let's move, and let's make it Texas, but let's find a place that fits for your business.

2016 happens, and an invalid pony she took care of we put down. For her, since we don’t have kids, it was like putting your newborn child down. Dark dark days. 2015 my parents came to me concerned since they knew when I visited for surprises or whatnot, my Starbucks mug was full of a Manhatten, and obviously I was a functioning alcoholic (very high functioning). So I had to go to a doctor for a minor health issue, and I sucked it up, and then realized I needed to get a GP so I got therapy to start.

The words shared were too much for me. Why? The therapist said I was damaged heavily by Toxic Masculinity (this is 2015 remember), and I severely needed help. Fuck no I am a man I don’t need help. 2016 comes around and the greatest fear was recognized, Hillary for president WTF she will fuck over the midwest since she truly doesn’t care. She literally mimic’d the DNC elite in Cleveland who torched the city, drove businesses out, and empowered the fears that made white flight happen. Then she was like her salesman like a husband who would sell you a lemon for a car and laughs because to make it work you had to use their overpriced car repair service and oh BTW the only company you can buy car insurance.

Folks will scratch their heads and say WTF “dude” that is beyond a stretch, but you see in many minds that are republican or conservative, you learn to have to live in a close house with closed windows and closed doors and having to learn to be rugged. Fear and trauma and then what gets pumped into the house (Fox News) become all that exists. If I didn’t have my trauma and pain I would have naturally pulled myself easily out of the mess, but no luck for me.

So I saw this vote in 2016, where the DNC lost my trust of making life better for the Midwest and red and rural voters and voted for the lesser of two evils. I believed that the mental sanity and views of those on the left and DNC would be the common sense ones, bridges would be built and we could get back to the 1980’s style governance. So I voted for Trump at that point and straight GOP.

Then I felt justified while watching CNN and seeing the pollsters, which I started to question in the spring of 2016 for being wrong look dumbfounded. I was like of course assholes, your polls are wrong (and guess what per Electoral College they still are), and when I saw Hillary not come out to thank her crying supporters. I felt justified, but then something came from the tears of those supporters. They washed into the barren and dry dead soil of me, and actually started to heal it.

Starting from 2017, I only voted for women and minorities in GOP, and in 2018, when I came to realize that this dumpster fire of American was happening, and the atomic explosion ending was going to happen.

I voted straight DNC. I shook as I did it, it ripped at the last past of my identity. I was working hard on my masculinity and getting ripped to shreds daily in Facebook groups on politics. I did so because my therapist stated I needed to engage with those that were different than me and embrace the pain and change. I voted for women left and right for the wrong reason, but in today's world sadly two wrongs do make a right (I voted on identity and polar opposite). Why? I knew my way of thinking was “wrong” and I used a joke from Seinfeld's Character George Constanza. See something and do the opposite of what you initially want to do.

I used that while I educated myself and healed. In 2019 I voted in the DNC primary as a registered republican. I voted for Warren because in my book her or Kamala was the only choice. Biden is not much different than Trump from my white male vantage point. The Bernie Bros for the DNC (even if the Tea Party for the DNC) are right. I hate to tell people that, but go into my last paragraph … Constanza filter …

So it is easy peasy for me, she is a black woman. A strong woman. A smart woman. So voting in 2020 for the presidential election is easy. I am voting for the VP on the ticket, not the Presidential one. He gets a positive checkbox over the other candidate because he either listened or is smart enough to know that she is the best candidate to help bridge from 2024.

See, I do performance work with really large user bases (10–100 million), wickedly high transactional rates, and can have a rain man type of ability in modeling. I can see 4–6 steps ahead and deal with things I model and work with.

American is in deep shit trouble for the next decade economically. We need a woman at the helm because the cupboards will be bare, there will not be any economic growth, and the Boomers failed to “fuck”, failed to “save”, and failed to “legislate” [think the debt], their entire career. Guess what … America is eating at the tables at Mortons for a family of 8, and the patriarch says, well I blew the credit card on a 5-star hooker last weekend, so now we can’t pay.

So the long story and short is part of a political journey I did as a white male registered republican from 2003–2020. Most people that read may see a different and what is a “new” side to me.

I work hard every day on my emotions, fighting the demons, and the damage from the societal bent on men. You will see a lot of “woke” people speak to how great they are and how they are.

But for me, I executed my change silently and behind closed curtains in my house for a decade-plus. I became vocal when I needed to, to fight my communication battles (stoicism). I will always state I am a damaged man, but folks will never be able to take the wins and losses I did.

So I look and support women wherever I can, and some folks (like yourself e.g.) will see this. It is all I can do to undo the harm from my past, and my reward is to be the strong, independent, emotionally available, and vulnerable masculine man that I am.

So if folks look for voting for the lesser of evils, or based on identity. You need to really really look hard at why you are picking that choice. Confront your fears, appreciate the fight that some people have to do just “to live” (systemic sexism and racism if you don’t get that), and if it is a 60/40 split towards your identity, maybe thing what is that 20% delta. I care to guess it is one’s trauma and bias. If you need extra help, then look at the person in power, and realize as the incumbent they “fail”.

Yes, that is correct, the debt, the failure to legislate (gridlock), the current state of government has everything to do with people on the golden “teet”. So if you are voting for “never Trump”, that is cool too. Also, remember to check your political privilege at state and local, and if that DNC member truly is corrupt, vote GOP or someone else (as long as they aren’t sexist or racist).

This is the only way we get out of this mess.

If we don’t, oh boy am I glad to live in Texas, where we can literally be our own nation-state because watching 40 million-plus people claim political minority status will unleash the hounds of hell in the Civil War that started in 2012 and got lit up in 2016, and now is in full force compliments of mother nature in 2020. We haven’t had the blight horseman fully ride through America yet. 40 million people unemployed and not enough jobs to be had, and guess what … the DNC and GOP allowed the outsourcing of all the jobs to Asia and elsewhere.

So be smart about who and what you vote for because it is the bottom of the ninth the bases are empty, we are down by 3 runs, and the batter has 2 strikes and there are 2 outs. We literally only have one more chance to happen, and if mother nature strikes and causes another lockdown, lightning will strike in the field and the game will be called. We lose.

The thing is if it does happen. I will cry and fight for the weak and downtrodden with the shambles of white male privilege. I will vote to put those in power unlike me (female and non-white) and I will be an ally. I will also try to push those not me ahead and say you lead and I will support.

Your time is now, just realize to turn back and lend me a hand up and don’t mock or don’t laugh or don’t live in revenge. That being said, I survived the dark abyss, and I will stand my ground until my dying breath even if it is alone.

I will fight to the end because I love women and the minorities that fight until the end, but I won’t draw the light to me outside of sharing my story and path so that others of my kind can learn. I am a damaged man, but I work hard daily to not be.

So 2016 I voted all GOP, since then only for two candidates did I do it for the GOP because, in my areas, there is literally no DNC presence. 400 some people voted in the last primary out of 100K if memory serves me correct. I voted that way because the incumbents were being threatened by populace driven Trump-like folks.

2008 to 2016 I voted more democrat than republican

So if my label triggers a person (not you Yael), then understand I am a person that is part of the 7% in the area that voted against labels. I am the guy in the raging Red River holding my hand out to the Native Americans, Women, and minorities to come on and make it I am here for you to bridge the worlds.

If I can do this with my masculinity horribly broken, and fix me while voting ethically and morally, and having integrity, one should ask themselves how and what and why you are voting for a person.

See from my writing, I have a strong preference for a wholesome, strong, independent, and liberated women. I also have preferences for strongmen like myself (albeit I am broken). Her logic is sound, mine is warped but improving, so if and when you vote (and please do I don’t care how or in what way), make sure you use all the ethical, moral, logical, and integrity in how you vote.

That means voting for the best which may mean grading on a scale based upon the level of difficulty it takes for that person to rise up to the challenge.

Don’t vote for the lesser of evils, or due to bias, or due to looking good. Figure it out, be able to defend it, act upon it, and then improve yourself when you fail.