We (Cool people like you and me of course Claire Divino) all have those lost soulmates in our life. Take the experience and learning to feel, and embrace the positive and look for where you can improve.
There is one woman who effectively saved me. It was interesting because I lusted and Loved her from the first site in college. We caught up later in life, and it was like no time spent. When we connected I dropped to my knees with emotion. It was a passionate moment …
Things ended (my fault) poorly, and we lost friends, but she did thank me and said our chapter ended.
I have nothing but positive things and feelings, and she is one of the reasons I work hard every day to be the man she thought, felt, and loved. It hurts tremendously, as you state, and I put that love in a Pandora’s box.
I understand the longing because I have extreme loyalty, but she is my kryptonite, and she knows it too; as such, I will never forget her. It took 18 months to process the loss, but every minute was growth.
My thanks are she relit the spark that died in me, and from that, people are now seeing the end work of it.
So, take what you need to find that kind of person and embrace the process. I do know with my work on feminism, and if I fix the other bits. If our paths cross again, she will know maybe there can be a future chapter, but because I believe in consent and respect. It is hers to own.
You have raw energy and power and love in you. I can see it in your writing, and it is meant for someone that is your missing puzzle piece. I deeply believe it and wish you the blessings I have in my being that you find it. I do sense you will be like two birds mating in a mad dash to the ground, so be careful since hot love burns hottest. Make sure you don’t get burned !