Welcome to the world of guys and conversely the world where people are fully independent and complex. If we couple the instantly available and always there applications and “2d” text communication, so much is lost.

People are busy, and with the ability to self absorb with technology the fine art of conversation, and human interaction just isn’t there. It still amazes me how our current society believes through openness and equality (which is a good thing mind you), that less physical interaction, and higher expectations will mean that people will be hyper perfect in interacting one-on-one.

If we drop into the intimacy aspect, with parallel dating and transactional sex that can benefit both genders … it opens up the arena to more options, and the perceived notion that there is less risk due to choice. The real reality is it increases failures and reduces hope. So your solution is correct, if both your standards and expectations are not met. Walk Away. But also do review both your standards and expectations.

I am not saying lowering your standards without a damn good reason, but do understand given gender disconnect, men emotionally and physicall will be behind women. Past studies (pre-Internet) showed guys were 2–4 years behind girls, and now that guys can check out with porn and games and anything else to get their needs met (which is good … a human being shouldn’t use a human being). In mating and dating I believe that has increased the drift 100–400% …. so in some ways guys can be 4–16 years behind women on average. So if you are a 30 year old woman in the past, a guy could be 32–34 and be “game”. Now …. a 30 year old may need to be around a guy in his early to mid 40’s to match up. If the time was spent living, loving, building a career and a relationship and partnership and kids are decided …. it sucks for women.

Do I see this getting better? No. I base this on the slow reaction and the back away men are having with metoo. I believe (my belief based on anecdotal observation and you can add your experiences) guys see too much risk in interaction, so they limit their exposure and connection because there is much more to lose as a guy now (presuming some traditional or via a feminist view patriarchal trained views) at place.

So what does that leave? A shit show … so good women like yourself and many others have to deal with zombie like dating and mating, which will only get better once men have enhanced their emotional abilities past, Fight, Flight or Fuck (I use it in a 3 F view) and add more emotional capabilities. That only occurs when they attempt and fail in life, and when zero tolerance happens … they retreat to the fun solo stuff alluded to earlier ….

So do things that make you happy and remember you get what you give and keep your standards but also make sure your expectations are not high enough to screw a future hope.

This experience is based off of conversations between me and multiple platonic female friends, for whom I would have a relationship with but I am already in one. To keep my views from being negative I read up on feminism and a variety of things and respond with my guy view when I see someone or an article of value.

Be well!


Lover of people, Texas Feminist Liberal Democrat, Horse Farm, High Tech Gadget ENFP Guy, and someone who appreciates the struggle of women and wants to help.

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Alan Tegel

Alan Tegel

Lover of people, Texas Feminist Liberal Democrat, Horse Farm, High Tech Gadget ENFP Guy, and someone who appreciates the struggle of women and wants to help.