What I have learned are when people get confused, we turn to the basest of assumptions. For a lot of guys the first chance they really get to heal from the effects of patriarchal training/imprinting is in a relationship with a woman.

We all know this is the "worst" time to learn.

If we take an assumption (and understand my base assumption is that a person should always control their emotions and biological responses internally), about horniness and "men".

The peak sexuality (on average) for women is later in there 20s to 40s. Women have learned more before an explosion of hormones (not saying it doesn't happen as a teenager either).

Picture that super urge and surge one feels when you are 7-12. For me it hit early ... and we all know men have serious control issues, picture it when you are super young.

So if one wraps the importance of #metoo and a variety of things, men now have to learn how to have good confidence and not lose it, which they should of course.

Can't talk to guys really about it (bad assumptions), parents on average do very little for rearing boys into men, and well you know the rest. So what do they turn to now? The internet and porn and what not, and as Naomi Wolfe documented very very early in the 2000s ... the rest is bad news.

I gained interest in some of these topic after oddly a CSI Miami episode where the phrase porn creep came up (it was a real term), and then once I hit therapy hard in 2015 and fixed a bunch of things.

One such topic I learned prior to it hitting pop culture was the toxic "culture" of masculinity. I spent several months discussing this with a therapist who (she) shook her head at how awful the term was because it shames an entire gender because of missing one important word ... "culture" ...

Cest la vie.

Now the divide is greater in heterosexual circles, and both genders truly desire one another, but in the absence of it. People turn to dreams and fantasies of what it will be, which like a broken clock may only be right twice a day ... maybe. ...