What I see is that it is about toxic personalities and both genders can exhibit it in varying shapes and forms. If we flipped things around and if life was termed in the matriarchy there is I am sure a variety of items where it would be toxic. Violence is of course violence.
A person in a shared group made a comment about raising her black sons that made her cringe, cry, and angry (rightfully so). I am paraphrasing it but she stated her son thought it was awesome that all the girls desired him and wanted to have sex and all of that, but the thing that sucked is he would probably be dead earlier in life then later.
If we stop and think about this (i.e. the burning of the candle), in one way the toxic masculinity personalities that are happening start from an over sexualization and desire for traits of an identity where one person is desired over another. So in this instance if you are a heterosexual white male, you are not as desired by women as a black man. The power is reversed, but if you think about it … this sexualization takes a third partner the woman.
The thing is … sexual preference with identity is not toxic per se, but we have a situation and scenario where charged situations where people don’t have good communication, media and environment pushing sexual views on immature (not by age and I am not a prude so restricting media due to topics is a no-no means we have a powder keg situation.
Toxic masculinity is of course a loaded conversation and it can be a topic starter, for people who are ready to listen, engage and talk (think graduate and Ph.d) at more advanced levels. The problem is the populace is like a newspaper reader at a 5th-8th grade level. The question is how to carefully and readily bring it up.
E.g. this is a decent discussion, and the big thing we need to understand as a society the only thing we have men from 10–70 right now taught is there is only two emotions for men … anger and sex …. and that is pretty toxic …