When I was attempting to heal my pain from traumas (#metoo), I went through a phase of this empowered by I don't give a fuck.

Then each iteration made me feel hollow as a human and less of man on each cycle. The ah-ha moment was after a situation where I was a super model type of woman, and after she was taken care of I just couldn't orgasm. I got off, we cuddled, and that was that.

It was at that moment, a demisexual switch clicked on, and at first I felt like it was a curse, but now I look back and it was actually a blessing.

Fast forward a few decades and in a stable"ish" relationship in monogamy, and then becoming a feminist. I now understand the importance and reason that one only has real impassioned sex and engagement with respect, consent, and connectedness.

Bad boys promise connectedness, offer faux-respect, and flirt with the edges of consent where acts and action are surrounded around the taboo.

There is raw desire and lust definitely from a bad boy, but like a drug dealer, the first taste is the most delicious and awesome, and after that not so much as it becomes hollow and meaningless. Why? It is about power and achievement, and not of making another feel better.

Have that bad boy urge, definitely if you are into transactional sex dive in. Be a liberated woman and get your needs satiated, but do one thing to protect you.

The next time the guy is ramped up and being the bad boy of your dreams. Schedule some fun time where time is limited, meet up at a hotel or whatever, and tell him you need a quickie. Then push his head down and say me first. Then when done state, hey I have some meetings we can meet up later (or back at the hotel room. See how passionate and bad he is then.

Of course women shouldn't have to do this "ever", but sometimes karma is best served earlier in life then later.

Personally, (this was the 90s), I wonder if this desire for bad boys wasn't all-in, if I could healed faster and better and gotten to where I am at now much earlier in life.

I am a big fan of liberated women feeling whole and complete. Women should get the desire and the wildness and full desire they get from bad-boys from the men in the path. This though would take a level and depth in the man, which would take men not wearing masks and taking the energy to develop themselves.

Lover of people, Texas Feminist Liberal Democrat, Horse Farm, High Tech Gadget ENFP Guy, and someone who appreciates the struggle of women and wants to help.