When reading the interaction from the article, it appears that the husband is “really” excited by his wife, since she states she has to restrict what she does so as not to trigger his sexuality. Once a man is excited and continues to be excited the pressure will build unless he “releases” it, and every man reaches a breaking point as the urges just don’t go away.
The fact that he shuts down the process of intimacy bonding is signaling this. As he and as most guys who really love their wife, will not desire or want to cheat they will look for anyway possible to release it, and a lot of times when guys become lonely porn is a natural (But not natural) way to do so.
Pornography when done in isolation replacing the partner is an intimacy killer. It is action based upon neglecting ones partner’s needs; however, it is not the truly horrible part. The neglect is, and what may not be apparent to a lot of women is men have to tell themselves “no” ten to hundred times a day and have to learn to distract “every day”.
Porn if it is used in a constructive way to add flavor and ideas to sexual one-on-one intimacy and enhance communication and to help express fantasies and desires, then it is the opposite of horrible and degrading.
Sexual intimacy does not “have” to require traditional intercourse, it can include one-on-one stimulation. So if the wife desires cuddling and soft touching and loving, that can be done … just as assisting her husband or else being with him while he masturbates and gets off. The point is they are doing sexual release together (but not directly). The husband should feel comfortable masturbating the 1–2x a day with his wife, and the wife should feel proud that she excites him to that level.
On the flip side, sexual intimacy can be about sharing one’s discomfort in interaction. For example, it is well documented that men request action and situations that cause discomfort from women. If this is the case, then one way to help the partner understand is to try to figure out things that the wife likes that might not be “fun” for him. Do understand every act and action should encompass enthusiastic consent and no means no, but by learning that the man is the one is saying “no” it educates on the sympathy and empathy part that is critical in sexuality.
Role reversal play is a great thing to work on and with if there is a power dynamic difference. There are multiple other things that a woman can do with and to a man that go outside of the scope of your question.
As for unbridled lust, there was a medium article where one writer used ben-wa balls all day and by lunch she stated she aggressively called her man to get the hell home because she needed to have sex “now”. In that example, for once in her life the writer understood what an 8–12 year old boy finds out without an instruction manual, and it becomes part of the biological males life for life. For a learning experience, imagine if she used them daily and was rejected or told no by the partner she loved every day, or was limited to 1–2x a week “maybe” ….
Heterosexual intimacy is the hardest thing on the planet, because the communication and point of views is so 100% opposite in so many ways. My proof to that statement is through biological selection, mother nature had to make men so blinded by their hormones to ensure that reproduction actually occurred. Men and women have equally horrible issues in sexuality, but women are lucky because they have community to talk, share, and relieve angst and frustration. Men on average (hyper-average really) don’t, so they literally will usually take matters into their own hands, because interaction with women when highly vulnerable and deaf, dumb, and blinded by the T-juice makes the possibility of hurt very high.
I know this was long, but I hope it helped …
