With female friends, I always state three things when dealing with men
Be Clear, Be Concise, Be Direct
Internally, your redlines, boundaries "AND" your expectations should not be violated.
Now, if one goes hard and fast to the internal guidelines, one may have to be used to being alone as the level of those three things, will make the pool of partners be reduced exponentially (exp(N)) N for each item and factorially when summing them (i.e 3! = 1x2x3 = 6) use google to find out what exp(1) is ...
So as communication occurs the expectation thing can be reduced by not forgotten. This is where your intuition comes in.
Don't doubt it, but if you see a pattern where it is being violated check how you are doing the 3 Be's at the beginning, because it seems the ability to look passively may need some fine tuning (or not your life your choice).
What makes this even harder is men (even me) have a hard time communicating our emotions, logic, thought and feelings. My silver lining in having become a demisexual during my path is I needed to learn how important communication was if I wanted to get off with partnered sex.
I can't tell you the times I looked at my partner after an argument where she was raring to go and I was like um no ... you hurt me and while I have forgiven you just nuked the connection. See I failed the Be Direct angle (and hell being a man ... the concise one too ...) and shit ... ok ... the clear one too :D
I try my best to apply these things, and try to live and listen to women so I can grow and communicate better. It isn't easy, but doing so helps me raise my intuition skills.
As for you .... relationships should add. To use a male point of view, they should make me consensually hard not make my life hard (and I am not talking being lazy) ....
You deserve the same thing too .... leave drama for the kinky and wild sex between two lovers, not the life in the kitchen or bar or wherever ....
Be well.
Also .... when talking to guys .... ask so name to me the last books you read .... you might be surprised at how that can help weed out the cruft ....
