Yep. Part of the therapy work I did had me finding something to be thankful from the abuser. What I learned was at the heart of her abusing me was the fact she was abused and was trying to heal too.

Does it make it right? Fuck no, but it gives me an appreciation of what it felt to be powerless and defenseless and something that women feel. Even in the body now of a man that is larger then most women by a long shot.

E.g. when I get into an argument with my wife. I make sure there is some distance between me and her so she can amp up the volume and know even with anger she is still safe.

The reality is the damage that a lot of woman abusers do, and you can even see it in social media now massively. Is the mental abuse from women, where words are wielded as weapons, far exceeds what most men do in return. Sure there is the threat of the fist, but a constant daily barage of hate from the mouth via words can inflict just as much damange especially if a person can't cope and expel the demons.