Yes and exactly, it doesn't matter if it is a vagina, anus, mouth, or hand. If the woman doesn't have the mojo or juice ... no means no.

Now, if we use the "selfish" wife stick (man the programming from the patriarchy is strong in that one), if she desires it, has the energy for it, and the partner is making sure she has peace and quiet to have the energy to do that dance ... game on.

If not ... no.

Now what about his needs? Well, since a woman post pregnancy went through hell on earth, and trust me I know helping foal out mares. Guess what, tell him he can have all the blowjobs he wants if you get to do one thing ...

Long sock and a tennis ball so you can thwack him you know where 9 times every day. Then you can ask, still horny? Ok!

No you aren't ... well geez how do you think my body feels with the beat up down there and the hormone madness and there exhaustion.

No means No and this isn't selfish.

Now for the women, if your guy is a horn dog and he needs release. You should not shame him or tell him that he can't masturbate. If the couple is anti-porn, then the most the wife/female partner can do is to show her body to him so he has some motivation but that is it ...

Now, I am kinky and have lots of fun twists and turns. This could be a fun time if he can learn to withhold and save up his juice and desire for you. Imagine the fun pop off once things are healed, and the shared experience is conquered. If he can show he can control his beast, the desire beast in his partner may get really really hungry ...