You actually are not. I am a Gen X'r, and I the dirty secret that the Generation that I was spawned from learned is the act of boredom is ok.
We got to be destructive and crazy. We had intense moments of joy and fun, followed by long periods of nothing.
For example, did you know there was a pet rock phase in our lifetime, along with cabbage patch kid craziness, and then the counter FU of the Garbage Pail Kids?
Stop and think about that aspect. In today's I have to be perfect, look perfect, act perfect, feel perfect, and scream "I am not perfect because someone else is in pain". No one can live on that without advanced pharma or smoking a little (well shit) a lot of Mary Jane.
Boredom is the kindling required for advanced creativity. When you responded, I check and researched as I do most people. Why? In the era of bots and people that attempt to suck or troll, I have learned that having emotions and feelings, taught me that not everyone is deserving.
Why do this? Because as I have written as items through my poems (and you can get a feel for me if you scan through my poems BTW ... click my profile and start from the bottom).
I needed to keep the stoic walls down, and my ability to touch, see and feel up.
When you as a person, have the ability to go quiet, and I mean "real" quiet. It is the golden opportunity to look at yourself in the mirror. You are single and for some it is a curse, but let me tell you it can also be a blessing.
I do this to myself when I can be alone. Stand naked in front of the mirror and look at your self. If you feel shame or sadness, ask yourself why. The goal is to look in that quiet moment and not feel that.
If you feel bad about your body, then realize that there are probably hundreds of women out there that would die too look as good as you, young as you, or as free as you are at this exact moment. If you are intellectually bored, look at the body of work that you produced, it captures the pure love and joy two heterosexual charged people have when they connect. Do you know how many people are dead in side, with dead bedrooms, orgasm-less for months, years and decades?
You have that power of the tongue that makes a woman curl her toes, and makes a man groan that deep animalistic groan tense his whole body waiting for the atomic explosion of male lust.
If you feel alone, you are not. Think about a guy that crafted this response from the deep part of Texas, the older man who has lived his life in a wheel chair thinking man if I could stand and run and consensually touch a beautiful woman or man and hear them sigh.
It is ok. My best moments of solitude have been on plane rides in my past. Sipping a scotch, looking at the fluffy clouds, listening to my chill music, and reading a book. Of course having a very "erotic" mind, thinking of the extra service that would be awesome at a mile up plus in the air as the FA swayed her hips on by. But also realizing to own my masculinity and keep those emotions in check since this is a human being with love, passion, and this is her job.
At that point and here with you now I would say.
"Thank you for your service" and smile with a glint in my eye.
You haven't been robbed, but it is ok to feel sad too. This time will teach you and many others the importance of being human and being loved and loving others first.
Trust me as a man that learned early on, it is critical to love the women first and make sure her needs are met completely. So I send a consensual hug if you need from a distance, and say it is ok to feel like you do. There is nothing wrong with you at all.
BTW: 80s and 90s movie are a treat and the quality was corny but excellent. Why? This is was a fun moment for most of us who couldn't wait to go on a date after a long week.
So as a fun last comment with movies in mind ... Binge Star Trek and Star Wars movies. Think about the multitude of men and women that fight over which is best.
Then watch Alien and Predator, and what you will see that Alien could be watched new in 2020 and be awesome.
But the most important thing that was shown in Alien? Women kick ass. Strong women are amazing, and in the 1980's with Ms. Weaver, the future will always be female, so lets make it happen now.