You are sensitive, you are caring, you have certain redlines that you were raised with. That is ok. Why do you have them, because to you sharing your heart with another person should have 100% loyalty and be 100% all-in.
The issue is this redline is a purity test in away, and the wall you have created is to protect yourself from loss, and while good intentioned it means you will have less chance of a relationship and coupling and being bonded as one heart and one soul like you desire.
Men aren’t perfect, neither are women. Women have had to do a lot of unsavory things per a Victorian contract view which is highly damaging to them, but also damaging to men. Why? You have a woman who put a price tag on intimacy, but then was evolving away from it to be with you, which means she was evolving to mate up with you for life.
You shut her down because the wall and redlines you have placed conditions on the love. You didn’t want to be vulnerable.
Food for thought: Realize she had the same negative view of men as you, but realize she realized (and as I reach through the monitor and place my hand on your heart) that the “wallet” of your soul far exceeded the Amex Centurion of other men.
You in turn said “transaction declined”. Do understand though, it is your body and your choice and your right to enforce every redline and desire you want. There is zero wrong with that, but also do understand your action if based upon your upbringing solely, also reinforced the reason and rational for Sugar Daddies and babies.
The question for you to ask yourself is … do you have what it takes to evolve into a person that provides unconditional love to their partner. That means being able to let go and let them come back and be with you for you, and if the fault they do while away is not “pervasive” and “consistently” against you and your wishes (i.e. heat of the moment) can you provide the ability to forgive.