Your life, your story, and you are single and free.
People should not judge your actions, but should be appreciative of what knowledge and experience you share.
You are trying to not only help yourself, but also love yourself and others that are friends fight through the loss and loneliness we all feel.
I am happy you are forgiving yourself and slaying a demon within you. Your liberation is awesome!
Keep on fighting, and remember one can be kind and nice, but one can't impose that on another without consent.
If it matters anything, I am proud of you and am clapping, and I am even more proud of the people that supported you and helped lift you out of the hole.
You and your friends are amazing.